All the Best People Die
12/20/23
If Birth is an everyday miracle, what is death? Everyone that you have ever met is going to die. Some day, some way, some body part will break beyond repair, and they will cease to live. This is true of absolutely everyone, even the most important person in your life. Tragedy will find us all, and one day that person that sits across from you at meals will no longer be on this Earth. Whether you die first, and they experience your loss, living out the remaining years without you, or you lose them to go on alone, your significant other will breath their last breath some day.
The dissonance of being human is the denial of mortality. We don’t like to think about it, our death. Each of us wish to avoid it. We lie to ourselves, we deny, and we make up religions. If only we could control our fate, dominate death, defeat the mortality that we fear. It is so human to want to beat the system, to cheat nature. We want to weave a happy narrative where everyone is safe, that everything will work out in the end for you and your crew if you are fortunate, but that is the biggest lie of all.
In fact, this is the furthest thing from being true. Life is not some solid thing that is safe as long as nothing really unlucky happens. No, it is ephemeral, a sentient bubble destined to pop. Life rides along a razor’s edge, and when an important physical system fails, it’s over. The finality is stunning.
When a person dies, they do not come back. It is a shock, impossible to believe. How can such a vibrant personality with a whole universe of possibility inside them, so many hopes, dreams, jokes, and complaints just be gone? Nothing is left of them, not their voice, their touch, none of the things they do. It is all just gone. They are just gone. No more conversations with them, no more jokes, no more fights, just empty space and silence where a human being once was.
When you look at your person across the room, you should realize that one day, a day that you cannot predict, they will be gone. What would life be like without them, that person that loves you, that person that you love? Cold and gray, where there was once warmth and color, boring when it used to be fun, lonely, when you were once a pair, alone when you were once part of a formidable team. Painful, yet it is important that each of us at least think about it. Nobody should be caught off-guard by the mortality of people who make life complete.
Not only should you be prepared to take on life alone, you should live life better now. Appreciate that wonderful person across the room from you. Remember what they have brought you, materially, in terms of what really matters. Gold and jewels, property and status, these things can be lost, again and again, and gained again and again. A person that shares your life is the treasure that you cannot replace. That unique human being is a miracle, and they will never happen again, not in an infinity of multiverses. That person is the rarest and most valuable stuff in all of eternity.
Find ways to make their life better and do it for them as well and as often as you can. Listen to their thoughts, and care. Give them gifts, do chores, touch them sweetly. Replace their drink when it is empty and anticipate their needs, whenever you can. Remember their favorite ice cream. Cuddle with them on your free nights and find excuses to spend more time with them. Have great sex, great for them too. Tell them often about how amazing they are and how much you adore them, while you both are still here.
There will be a number. Nobody may know what that number is, but there will be an exact amount of decades, years, hours, minutes, and seconds that you will spend together. Gather your time carefully. None of us can beat mortality. Yet, with the right person you can, for a time, count up beautiful moments that matter, floating on this big rock, revolving around the sun.